Beyond Avoidance

Today’s Reverb 10 prompt:

What should you have done this year but didn’t because you were too scared, worried, unsure, busy or otherwise deterred from doing? (Bonus: Will you do it?) (Author: Jake Nickell)

Well, it’s interesting that this prompt is about avoidance and I’ve been avoiding writing by perusing #reverb10 posts on Twitter…

I’m sure that I avoided a lot of things in 2010.  I don’t like to be uncomfortable.  I know my limits and I generally like to push beyond them only to a certain point.  That said, there was a lot of uncomfortable stuff in 2010 and some pretty significant boundary-pushing in some areas.  But I’m sure there was also a great deal of avoidance.  I can think of two areas in particular though, where I plan to turn avoidance in 2010 to action in 2011.

The first is meditation.  I was on a bit of a meditation roll for awhile there around Easter.  I downloaded some Wayne Dyer to the iPhone and set about to chanting 20 minutes in the morning and again at night.  It wasn’t easy.  I am cursed (as are most, I think) with the dreaded “monkey mind”, which makes meditation a challenge.  When I got some advice that meditation wasn’t for me (something about needing to spend more time “in the body” than in a meditative state), I quickly abandoned my burgeouning practice.  I mean, it was difficult anyways and now I was being given a free pass not to do it.  Hell yeah!  20 minutes more to sleep!  However, I’ve done more thinking and more reading and more listening and I’ve come to the conclusion that everyone should meditate, including me.  And yet I haven’t worked it back into my routine.  Several weeks ago I decided that I would drop it down from 2 times 20 minutes a day to 2 times 10 minutes, in an effort to make it more manageable at the start.  I did it once.  Instead, I have found myself watching TV or reading online right up until I’m about to fall asleep and then hitting the snooze button several times more than is reasonable each morning.  I just haven’t prioritized it.  I haven’t fit it in.  However, I plan to do so in 2011.

The second is dealing with my diet and exercise situation.  Thank my commitment to my 3 days a week of pilates means that things are not completely running amok.  As well, as I’ve mentioned, I have made a significant shift away from processed foods and towards whole and as often as possible, organic ingredients that I prepare myself.  These are good things.  But they are not enough and I know that.  I also know what I need to do.  I need to count the points and get on the scale.  Also, I should put a little more cardio into my life.  I have been avoiding these things.  I do not know why.  That feels like the million dollar question in my life right now (or at least one of the top 3).  Even with all the self-exploration/discovery, etc. this past year, I just do not know why.  Maybe one day I will figure it out.  Maybe it will be the key that unlocks everything.  Maybe angels will sing and lights will flash.  Or maybe it will be like, oh yeah, whatever.  In any event, I will not wait to figure out the whys.  I will instead set about to DO.

I’m sure I’ll be writing about how all of this turns out.

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About Debra Cowie

Debra is a photographer and visual storyteller based in Ottawa, Canada. She is an explorer at heart, whose passion for photography was born in travel and has been carried with her to more than 30 countries so far. Debra is also an avid cook and baker and much of her current work focuses on food styling and photography in her serendipitously beautifully lit kitchen. She has flirted with Polaroid and 35mm film photography but her true love is her DSLR (aka "Boyfriend Mark").
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